


The Helpful Wizard

by Aria_Breuer



Category: The Lord of the Rings (Movies), The Lord of the Rings - All Media Types, The Lord of the Rings - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: Adventure, Fanfiction Stories by Genre Collection, Gen, Parody
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-05
Updated: 2017-11-05
Packaged: 2019-01-29 23:05:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 573
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12641136
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aria_Breuer/pseuds/Aria_Breuer
Summary: Frodo wants to go on an adventure. Unfortunately, Gandalf makes one too many preparations. Will it be enough to convince Frodo to join him on his quest? Or will the poor hobbit stay home?A one-shot satire on adventures.





	The Helpful Wizard

**Author's Note:**

> **Disclaimers:** I do not own _The Lord of the Rings_. J.R.R. Tolkien does.
> 
> This is the last story for my collection. :( Enjoy. :)

Frodo watched the flames dance on the wood pile. As he stared at the flickering orange light, a thought persisted, growing larger by the second. He wanted to go on adventures, not just tiny adventures that lasted for ten seconds or road trips from one town to the next. No! Nothing like that. He was keen on going on a grand adventure, one that his Uncle Bilbo used to tell him about.

“Yes!” He said with pure delight. “I think I will go on an adventure.”

“And I can assist you!” Gandalf said, appearing in the room out of thin air.

 _“Gandalf!”_ Frodo cried, frightened out of his wits. “What are you doing here? I thought you were at Bree.”

“When I heard you say you wanted to have adventures, I had to come.” Gandalf announced, proudly.

“Right.” Frodo stood up. “Gandalf, this is very bad timing.”

“Oh nonsense!” The wizard patted his shoulder. Frodo stared at Gandalf’s hand, quizzical. How did the wizard get here? By magic? That was the only way to explain his sudden, very abrupt presence in his home. “I’m here to help you. You can call me the Very Happy Wizard!”

“Well happy wizard or not,” Frodo said, serious, “I’ve been longing to go on adventures, but I don’t know where to start.”

“Well, why not start at the beginning!” The wizard took a seat by the fireplace. “You’ll need a gardener, one that is capable of taking you to Mordor.”

“Mordor? A capable gardener?” The hobbit understood. “Oh no. Gandalf, let’s not send Sam into Mordor. What if Sauron still lives?”

“Oh Frodo, you are a tease!” Gandalf chuckled. “Now, you’ll need a ranger who can guide you through the woods, an elf with enough strength of ten men, and a dwarf with unquestionable axe-throwing skills. This journey will be long and arduous. It will take months to complete on your own. Why not have the comic relief, who will lighten our travels, and our pockets, to the bitter end?” He sighed. “Yes, that sounds good. Oh! And you’ll need a wizard, like me, to guide you through the darkness.”

“Will this journey be perilous?” Frodo asked, nervous.

“Why yes, it will!” Gandalf said, excited. “There will be snakes, spiders that plan on eating you whole, wild horsemen that chase after you, fell beasts wandering the desert, dark lords that will kill you on the spot, and gangly creatures that will have your head before supper.” He asked, curious. “Now, how does that sound?”

“Goodbye Gandalf!” Frodo showed him the door.

“But Frodo, don’t you want to go on this quest?” Gandalf walked out of the house, confused. “I can show you lots of bugs to eat.”

“No, I’m sorry. Goodnight Gandalf!” Frodo slammed the front green door. He sighed. “Who in their right mind would go on a dangerous mission?” He shrugged, pleased with his efforts. “I’m glad I’m not doing that… oh no! He didn’t leave me a worded message. Did he?” He opened the door. Gandalf was gone. There was a note written on a piece of parchment that read, in fine handwriting: **Regrettable. Absolutely regrettable! _I will have my revenge!_ – Gandalf the Grey**. Frodo smiled. “Oh Gandalf, you are full of tricks.” He closed the door again, grateful to not have to go on any more adventures. He returned to the parlor, picked up his book, and resumed reading in peace.

The End.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading. :) The Fanfiction Stories by Genre Collection is now complete. I will see everyone in a new story or a series I’m currently working on. Cheers! :)
> 
>  
> 
> _Aria Breuer_


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